Frustration and the creative process
This morning I found myself thinking about frustration and the creative process. The frustration of being in the middle of something but wanting to be in the future working on the next thing.
This happens to me all the time. It can sometimes mean I struggle to finish a project, it also means I don’t start projects well. When I’m like this I feel all over the place and find it really hard to settle down and trust the process.
One advantage to this busy brain is that when things are going as they normally do I’m already formulating my next series while I’m finishing up the current paintings. This is really great as it gives the collection time to percolate and process in my mind which helps later when I finally get to start it as the ideas are already bouncing around in my mind.
I have to constantly bring myself back to the current paintings I'm working on and tell myself, ‘Just a little bit longer’. These ones still need your attention. Normally it’s easy for me to let go of paintings when I'm finished as I’m not longer as attached to them by the time I’ve finished.
In the past, I’ve struggled to finish projects because I'm just over it. I've moved past them mentally. It’s taken many years of struggle to realise that this is just the way I make work and the frustration is a good thing. It’s something that I have to sit with, it moves the work forward. I take the parts that are working with my current series and I get excited about looking at them in a different way with a new body of work.
I seem to have to learn all these things the slow and hard way. I’ve learned that if I’m not fully invested in a project, collection, or series the frustration is not something I can sit with for long and I get quite upset. The frustration becomes toxic.
Unfortunately, I’ve agreed to many things in the past that caused this pain and if the project doesn’t have an end time I slowly spiral into a place of negativity. It’s a difficult place to be because I can see the future but I can’t find a way out of where I am without cutting and running which is not always an option. You can’t just leave a job you have agreed to do when you also rely on the income for your family.
Sometimes I think I need to suck it up and be an adult. I’m quite hard on myself as I see others around me doing just that and they seem to be able to manage it without wanting to hide in a corner and cry. However, staying in that place of resentment and negativity can be really damaging if you do it for too long.
Top tip: don’t compare yourself to others, everyone is in a different situation and has a different brain. Easy to say not so easy to remember and put into action.
So how to sit with it?
I’ve found journaling to be helpful, I can even write out those future scenarios and steps to get there. Which can make me feel like I'm moving forward when I’m stuck. I create plans to get myself out of the situation or project that is impacting me so negatively.
Making quick paintings without any attachment to a series.
Colour exercises are soothing and helpful for most artists.
Taking a creative workshop like plaster or pottery. Anything where your using your hands is good.
Ticking off other things on your to do list, the garden always needs work at my place.
Reading has always been a great distraction and comfort to me. Both fiction and non-fiction are helpful.
Remember why you started:
This is a phrase that keeps coming up for me and for a long time, the answer was not good enough for me. It meant that I had made a bad decision and I felt like I had to stick with it even though it was causing me pain. My brain can take a while to process a situation and I’m constantly in a place I’m not really able to decide yes or no. I need more time. So sometimes I make the wrong decision and I don’t know for a little while that I’ve done that. People think I hate making decisions but that’s not the case, I just want to choose the right thing for me and often that is not received as the correct choice by others so I sit with questions for a while.
The grass is not greener over there, you will never get there because you are always here looking at the grass over there.
It’s hard to trust myself when it feels like everyone around me wants me to move faster. But this is my process and my life.
My word for 2023 was Trust and it continues to be my life journey to practice listening to myself before listening to others. I hope that my little brain dump about creativity and frustration was helpful to you.
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